Cray

Dang bae, is it really like that

why are you doing this to me?

your always on my mind

I dont even know what to think anymore

I love you i really do

but im going crazy

I dont know who your with

or

what you are doing

I can only think of the what if's

and why am I trippin

Baby i feel like im losing my mind

some times i feel like you dont care inside

I see the good, and i see the sweet

but i can see you putting a wall up

in front of me

bae im going crazy inside

i dont know what to do anymore

why are you doing this to me?

Never Again

You must think i am crazy
But let me tell you i am
You must think we are changing
WRONG! Please try again
The things that i have tried to do were
All only for you, the stress that i put up with
Every single day, I dealt with because I really wanted
To try to make things work
With..........
Living together in one house hold
Never Again.
Being together even when things have gone from good to worse
Never Again.
I will never let another human being control so much of my mind
And everyone at the church tries to force us to be
Something that we aren't
I dont believe  that we are meant to be
Because your views differ from my
And to let you consistently talk about the people
That i love the most
Never Again will my sun shine before it rains
Because from this point on all i am looking for
In my skies are sunny days
Where the day is filled with beautiful flowers
And my heart skips a beat everytime
Where i can find someone that im and love with
And we not argue all the time
I want to be able to just know this is right
Instead feeling that everything is wrong
I would like to love for once in my life without
Getting my heart broken in return
I love My God and he knows it
So what you say doesn't count
All our views are so different should have been a
Warning sign a long time ago.
So never again will we be anything more
Then justs friends.
I cant continue to deal with the hurt and i
Know that you can't too.
This is the end of our story and it ends with a
Beautiful son, he will grow up knowing
That mommy and daddy loves him so much
Even though we aren't together i believe we can
Still manage to be friends
I can see you shaking your head right now cause
I know that you will read this soon
So never again will I try to make someone happy
While i am not except my son
Time to put me first and do whats best for me
Cause like you said it is time to grow up.
So this here is true and my last and final words
about all that we once had
All that i can really think of to say
Is
NEVER AGAIN
To it all
But that doesnot me that i love you any less!

Confusion

I am so confused 

I just want to scream out to the world

But i really just want to go to a happy place

Some where that i can stop in think

being myself with all the stress

i realized why i live in two different worlds

i live in the real world because i have to

and a live in a fantasy world when i want to get away

I no longer know what i want

i no longer can feel my heart...........

ITS NUMB!

Numb from the thought of hurting you

but also from the fact that im hurting myself

is this what i really want

IM To YOUNG!

No wait

I though age was just a number

I WANT TO SCREAM!

My head is spinning and my mind is blur

my heart is pounding

and my words are slur

i know what to say but the words wont come out

My life feels like a horrible mess right now

like a dream that i want to wake up from

i want to go back to the new world that i made for myself

where there is no hurt

no pain and no choices to make

where i can just be free and live my life

with no consequences and make no sacrifices

BUT WAIT!

I cant go i have a son

I have school

I have a dream to achieve

Thoughts racing through my head

All of this agony

All i need is time 

Time is the key

but i cant find time because the clock is all ways ticking

Tick Tock

the sound makes my head burst

makes my heart want to leap out

and makes things no better or worse

GOD WHAT DO I DO!

please give me a helping hand 

If time is the key

Maybe i just need a friend

to give me advice

to lend me a shoulder

when i need to cry

to tell me its ok and that everything will be fine

i just need some sleep

so just close your eyes

I just need time

but time is not my friend

OOPSS

guess what 

my time just ran out